Quinn sat and stared at his computer screen like a goldfish at it’s own reflection. There had been many times he had had this problem; others referred to it as “Writers Block”, but the truth was that it was “Writers Explosion”. The condition where an author has far to much to write about and simply cannot find a place to start.

The smell of popcorn filled the air.

It had been almost a year since his tryst with Cassandra. She had lost interest in him, as he expected. She had wanted to sleep with him for three years, and now that she had, he was simply another checkbox on her long line of men she’s nailed. Most people wouldn’t think there are women in the world like her, but Cassandra never like fitting into other peoples boxes.

It didn’t really matter that Cassie wasn’t interested in Quinn anymore… not to him, and not to her. It was rare when two people were so incredibly, and overtly uninterested in each other save for their obvious want to have sex with the other. Once that was over, there wasn’t anything left to talk about.

Right now Quinn sat staring at his computer screen thinking about where to start with his new book. His last manuscript had been published, and was doing well in the papers. So much so that his agent was now calling him every other day in honest interest toward his progress. She was getting pressure from the publishers to make sure he’d be able to hold up his end of the 5 book deal he’d accepted earlier that year.

Quinn of course happily accepted of course. He hadn’t really planned on his manuscript going much further than three books, but he wasn’t going to turn down a deal that most young authors don’t get until 20 years into their careers. So there he sat, smiling in disblief at his own stupidity.

“How in the gods names am I going to write 4 more books about something that shouldn’t go past a trilogy?” He asked himself out loud.

“You’re going to write it just fine, and it’s going to be awesome.” Lina said softly, as she wrapped her arms around his chest. He smiled and closed his eyes, inhaling her perfume– she smelled like a strawberry field.

“You sure baby? cause I’m not really sure I have this next half in me.”

“Is that all you have to go?”

“Yeah… about 50,000 words left.”

“Then what are you complaining about?! You wrote 50,000 words in three weeks! Why are you worried about the next half?”

Quinn took a deep breath. He stared at the screen, Lina kissed the back of his neck and placed a steaming hot mug of apple cider on the desk in front of him. Quinn smiled widely, witnessing the level of love she bore for him in her heart. Quinn never judged her love by words or grand events… he judged it on the every day occurrences. Like when he would make dinner, and how she would walk up behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist. Or like now, how she got up from whatever she was doing with the express intention of making him happy. When he was the only thought in her mind, he knew she loved him.

Often most men don’t take the time to realize and appreciate this kind of attention. Not Quinn- he made sure that her attention given to him was always repaid in kind. It wasn’t that Quinn was keeping score or anything– just that he wanted to make sure she had no doubt that he loved her as much as she loved him.

“You think so?” Quinn asked.

“I know so. Just make sure that the girl character you based on me isn’t killed.”

Quinn’s eyes opened wide with shock.

“How do you know I based a character on you?”

“Easy! It’s what I would do!”

“And that makes you think that I would use you in my book because…”

“Because I’m beautiful and have a great personality!” She said as she turned slightly around in a circle before him.

“If you don’t say so yourself” Quinn said with great sarcasm in his voice. Lina bent over sharply and kissed him on the lips.

“Besides– if you don’t put me in your book, I’ll withhold sex for six months.” She said with a softly haughty tone.

“Well now I know you’re lying… You can’t go for 6 days much less months.” Quinn said with a clever grin.

“We’ll see…” Lina said as she slunk over to the couch. She clicked the TV on and dialed up her favorite crime drama show, and proceeded to munch on the popcorn she had prepared for herself.

“Tonight on an all new episode…” The TV announcer said and Lina sat up with anticipation. Quinn watched her with joy. He loved to see her emotional response. She was such an open book; he loved her for that. Her emotions were so easy to see because she let the world see them. Lina gave up the mysterious act years ago when she discovered it was far to much work maintain this personae than just be herself. It was something that Quinn really loved about her.

“Fine… back to work…” Quinn whispered to himself and continued to stare at the computer screen.

I think one of the greatest blunders in human history is to be attached to the wrong person.

We all know this to be true… We break up with the person we thought was our soulmate, then read their myspace, or facebook, or blog, or whatever later and find that they have posted complete lies about you and everything about your relationship.

What’s interesting, and also sad, is that we let ourselves be affected by them.

We read this utter crap about how we were lazy, or an asshole, or sexually inexperienced, or worthless, and it really hits home… despite how “over” that person we are.

Honestly, I wish there was a switch that could just be flipped.

Take me for example. My ex-wife is a freak of nature. I can say that now; however if you would have said that to me a year ago I would have made you swallow your two front teeth. Looking back now, I can honestly say I never knew that girl, and really say that she was a childish, self-involved, arrogant, selfish, mean-spirited jerk, who enjoyed making other peoples’ lives miserable.

But why don’t we see those things DURING a relationship?

I’ll tell you why. Because we choose not to.

I overlooked all the things I shouldn’t have. I overlooked her childishness, her ignorance, her hatred, her co-dependence… for what? Because I was in love with her? Hardly.

I fell in love with her later… because I wanted to…

Shouldn’t love happen naturally? Without any need for anyone or yourself to TALK yourself into it? Shouldn’t it be the easiest thing in the world? Yes it should.

So here’s the deal:

I can’t help what people think about me. I can’t stop stupid people from making stupid decisions. But what I can do is remember that the Universe wastes nothing. It does nothing frivolously. There is no Chaos, there is Harmony.

Now that being said:

How does one move forward with one’s life after dedicating it entirely to another? It seems so hard sometimes– like nothing wants to work for you.

I think that the only reason we are here, is to find the other person in the world that makes us happy. Monogamy can be beautiful, but it seems like it’s only meant for those who are 25 and older. Should anyone get married before the age of 25? Dr. Scott says: No effing way. Trust me folks, it’s not worth the heartache.

Can anyone make another person happy? Yes: but only if that person is happy already, and is only interested in sharing their happiness, not seeking it.